so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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