i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
