walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize