i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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