dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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