worst night to have a conscience
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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