GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
