laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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