i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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