We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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