I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
