Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dear god my vagina.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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