people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
