I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
