I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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