Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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