Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nutella sex= disaster
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
