Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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