What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
