Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize