My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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