To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just high enough for therapy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize