So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
