So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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