i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
