Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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