I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
