yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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