She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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