Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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