you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
