accomplished twins. life is a go
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
