I feel great
I just peed on a car
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
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my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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