I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
