just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my shit smells like andre
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
