I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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