so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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