Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
