so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
