my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
