I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
