apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
