he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
