shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
