I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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