i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
