I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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