that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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