if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
