He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
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She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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