the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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