There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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