Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
