Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
