I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize