these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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